Succession’s ‘Ludicrously Capacious Bag’ Is the Meme We Deserve

Poor, hapless Greg. On the premiere episode of the final season of Succession, Greg the Egg (Nicholas Braun) made the grave mistake of bringing a date, Bridget (Francesca Root-Dodson)—someone who may not be completely familiar with how the other half lives—to Logan’s birthday. The evidence? Her choice in accessories, which Tom (Matthew Macfadyen) expertly skewered, setting the internet ablaze with his absolutely withering read of her “ludicrously capacious bag.”

“Why?” snarls Tom at Greg, explaining his date’s faux pas. “Because she’s brought a ludicrously capacious bag. What’s even in there, huh? Flat shoes for the subway? Her lunch pail? I mean, Greg, it’s monstrous. It’s gargantuan. You could take it camping. You could slide it across the floor after a bank job.” 

Clearly, the nearly $2,900 Burberry bag was a fashion don’t. Its shape (boxy enough for a lunch pail), its size (monstrous, gargantuan even) is simply all wrong for a high-society event. Bridget should have known Logan’s birthday was a Birkin-only space (Kelly preferred)—maybe a Telfar, if paired with the right shoes. Faux pas doesn’t even begin to cover it. The internet is well aware, taking Tom’s incredibly specific insult and running with it. You just know that if Succession were set in Austen-era England, Mr. Darcy would have said the same thing.

Despite what this meme would have you believe, Andy—a.k.a. Anne Hathaway's budding fashionista in The Devil Wears Prada—wouldn't be caught dead with Bridget's bag. She learned too much from Meryl Streep's Miranda Priestly to be caught holding something so decidedly last season.

We have to imagine that if Bridget had the gall to show up to Logan's birthday with an Ikea bag in tow, though, he may have shown her some begrudging respect. Exorbitantly wealthy as he is, Logan knows a good deal when he sees one. 

And to be fair to Bridget, her bag is not the worst bag that film and television has ever seen. That honor rightfully belongs to either of two options courtesy of the Sex and the City cinematic universe. Imagine, if you will, what would have happened had Bridget brought Carrie Bradshaw’s ugly swan purse to Logan’s fete…let alone the Louis Vuitton bag Carrie gifted her assistant Louise (poor Jennifer Hudson) in the first Sex and the City movie, widely considered one of the ugliest bags in cinematic history. We fear Bridget would have been laughed out of polite society (more so than she already was).  

Bridget, next time you’re invited to a Roy event (which we suspect will be never), please consider instead bringing along a Vanity Fair tote. Is it “ludicrously capacious”? Arguably, yes. But it’s also chic and understated. All that, and plenty of room for your sensible subway flats. 

This post was originally published in Vanity Fair.